How to Stop Being Needy

April 18th, 2014 by Nick Notas 12 Comments

Needy Child

Neediness is the most misunderstood concept in dating. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what they think being needy means:

“Don’t text a girl too soon. Wait a while before you respond. Be careful of showing your interest early on — especially if she’s REALLY hot.”

But what if I told you that those actions aren’t necessarily needy?

Instead…

What if I told you that constantly worrying about whether or not you’re being needy is actually being needy?

Let’s clear up what neediness is and isn’t once and for all.

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How to Use The Art of Persuasion to Attract Women

April 11th, 2014 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Fortune Teller

How most people visualize the idea of persuasion

The word “persuasion” makes people feel uneasy. It conjures up images of mind control or the dark arts. But in reality, persuasion is a part of our daily lives and comes in different forms.

Have you watched a show or listened to a new band based on the recommendation of a friend?

Have you ever returned a favor or assisted someone who’s helped you before?

How you ever taken the advice of someone you respected as a mentor?

These are all examples where you’re under the influence of persuasion. You can choose to deny it or you can learn how it works and use it to your advantage.

Dr. Robert Cialdini spent years researching persuasion and in 1984 released his groundbreaking book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. While the book has a focus towards marketing, the principles apply to social psychology — including our romantic relationships.

Now before I get a dozen hate mails, I’m not condoning trickery or manipulation. Persuasion can’t control someone to do something against their will. But it is a powerful tool that can be used for good or evil.

Since I’m not into doing bad things (only naughty stuff), I’m going to focus on healthy, honest ways to implement persuasion. To help women naturally see you as a romantic interest and want to move things towards an intimate connection.

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6 Dating Truths Women Need to Hear But Don’t Want to

April 4th, 2014 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Janet Leigh Psycho

 

Last week I wanted to give some hard-hitting advice. So I wrote a post on harsh dating truths that men need to hear.

But, it would be unfair to only focus on men when there are many women who could use the same reality check, too. So here’s my follow up for all you ladies who need that advice you won’t get anywhere else. 

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6 Dating Truths Men Need to Hear But Don’t Want to

March 28th, 2014 by Nick Notas 13 Comments

Truth Hurts Lie to Me

Sugar-coated and sweet — it’s how we love to hear advice and criticism.

Getting the truth straight up makes us uncomfortable. It can be painful. It forces us to see parts of ourselves that need to be improved or changed completely.  So it’s usually easier to avoid it altogether.

Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned were not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear. Harsh realities made me defensive and stuck in denial. But deep down, I struggled so much because I knew they were true.

Part of my job as dating coach is to occasionally dole out some of these harsh truths. Otherwise, how else are you going to know?  Your friends and family care too much about your feelings to tell you.

I understand your romantic life is a personal and touchy subject. So as an unbiased third party I’m here to tell you like it is – judgment-free, constructive, and blunt.

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A Forum for Gladiators, Not Spectators

March 25th, 2014 by Nick Notas 3 Comments

Gladiator Weapons

I got into self-improvement and learning to be a more attractive person seven years ago. 

Unfortunately, none of my friends joined in.

Some of them were skeptical. They thought it was a waste of time or that it couldn’t be studied. Others didn’t have the courage to put themselves out there and socialize regularly. 

If it weren’t for some guys I met through online forums, I wouldn’t be The Dating Specialist today. 

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The Beginner’s Guide to Colors in Fashion

March 21st, 2014 by Nicolas Richard 5 Comments

Suit_Colors

(Photo Source)

Hi guys, this is Nicolas from Kinowear.com. After writing about men’s biggest fashion mistakes and tackling the subject of men’s jeans, I’m back with advice on a pivotal topic…

Color.

It might seem like an easy thing to grasp, but with the wide array of shades and tones available, it’s more confusing that you’d think.

This is an obstacle for many men, who often pair colors which simply don’t go together and consequently ruin their outfits. Even if you’ve mastered the cut and fabric of your clothes, if you can’t match colors together correctly, your outfit will simply fall flat!

In this guide, you’ll learn about what colors work with what items and materials, what to avoid, and how to gradually progress to bolder colors for a more individual style.

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Are You Self-Sabotaging By Asking “What If”?

March 17th, 2014 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

What If Sabotage

Overthinking can paralyze us. Before we’ve even set out to do something, we’re already imagining countless different scenarios in our head.

This usually plays out with a series of internal “what if” questions…

“What if I fail? What if I look stupid? What if people judge me?”

We envision the worst outcomes possible. We terrify ourselves from taking action.

When you believe an experience is going to be negative, you’re likely to avoid that experience.

You’re setting yourself up to fail. And it’s because you’re asking the wrong questions. How we talk to ourselves has a powerful impact on reality.

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Real-World Proof That Meeting Women is Easy

March 6th, 2014 by Nick Notas 18 Comments

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure

Meet Bill and Ted. 

No, not the zany duo who went on an excellent adventure in ’89. These are two recent clients who had excellent adventures of their own.

Bill is a strong-voiced engineer in his early 30s. Ted is a soft-spoken musician in his early 20s.

You couldn’t ask for two more different personalities in different stages of their life. But both of them had something in common…

They both came to me looking to meet women during their daily life in Boston. They had no previous experience with this and were skeptical that it was even possible.

By the end of their first sessions, Bill and Ted got the proof they needed to believe meeting women is easy. And they gained some valuable lessons along the journey as well.

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Do Women See You as a Leader?

February 25th, 2014 by Nick Notas 12 Comments

Marlon Brando Guys and Dolls

Can anyone deny that leadership is one of the most attractive qualities? Strong individuals have the power to charm and influence millions.

Wael Ghoniman started an Egyptian revolution, Steve Jobs created a cult of technology (which I’m happily part of), and even Stanley Milgram convinced people to electrocute test subjects to death.

It’s human nature to respect and respond to authority.

Thankfully, in dating we don’t have to go to those extremes. We just need to understand what makes a great leader and apply that to turn a girl we like into a girl we’re intimate with.

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The Journey to Dating Success

February 18th, 2014 by Will Legend 6 Comments

The Journey

There’s no such thing as an overnight success. It’s a big myth. And anyone who tells you otherwise is delusional.

Consider FedEx. You’ve probably heard of them.

In 1965, Fred Smith came up with a concept for an express delivery system while studying at Yale, and in 1971, he founded FedEx. The company started operations in 1973, and during the first 26 months of operations, lost nearly $30 million. One night, after being turned down for capital, Fred impulsively flew to Vegas and won $27,000 playing blackjack, which he used to meet payroll the following Monday.

The company was losing a million dollars a month, yet they continued to grind it out. In 1978, they became a publicly traded company, and in 1983, revenues topped over $1 billion. And in 2013, revenues totaled nearly $45 billion!

This article isn’t a history lesson about one of the most successful delivery services in the world. The point of the FedEx story is that it takes time – often years and years – to find success. This applies to all of life’s endeavors. And this absolutely applies when it comes to getting better with women.

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