Note: There is a much updated and expanded version of this on my free eBook “The Gentleman’s Guide to Texting Women”.
Like it or not, texting is here to stay. As part of the dating process, you’re responsible for keeping in touch with her and making things interesting. Thankfully, this works in your favor.
Texting allows you to come up with witty and enticing responses from a comfortable location. It’s easy enough to master and with some basic guidelines, you should be a pro in no time. Here are some simple points to remember when texting a girl you’re interested in.
Avoid improper grammar
Well-written text messages make you look mature and intelligent. Sloppiness is not only a turn-off but also a potential deal breaker. Some shortcuts like “np at all” are okay but “kk can’t wait 2 c u 2nite” is excessive. Double-check your spelling, grammar, and auto correct before you press send.
Use emoticons wisely
A smile or wink is great for adding emphasis or being flirtatious. However, using them in every other sentence can be overkill and distracting from what you’re trying to say. Sticking to no more than one emoticon per message is usually a good idea.
Don’t flood her with texts
Replying with three texts for every one she sends shows you’re too eager and too invested. You shouldn’t over-think it but go easy and feel out the pace of the conversation. If she takes an hour to respond, just give it a few minutes before messaging her back.
Text at reasonable times
Unless she’s working the graveyard shift, texting her randomly at four in the morning won’t look good. I’m positive whatever you have to say can wait until the next day. Also, if you’ve had a heavy night of drinking, be cautious of what you’re writing.
Use more statements
How do you talk with your friends? You probably shoot the shit and ask the occasional question. Use this as a reference point for your natural style and add a dash of spice when talking to her. Bombarding her with questions will make it feel like an interrogation.
Keep things light
A girl loves to see her phone buzz and read a text from you that’s cute, intriguing, and makes her laugh. Don’t get too personal over text – it isn’t worth it and should be saved for in-person or phone conversations. Tell her about your funny train ride home and not your life story.
Start flirting with her
Short, sweet, and your opportunity to shine, flirtatious texts are a great way to generate sparks. Trust and comfort have to build over time, but light and teasing messages will keep her on her toes until then. Make fun of her for watching Dancing With the Stars or even playfully accuse her of seducing you.
Set up a date
Texting is a low-pressure way to setup a date. When she’s responding well, suggest an activity that you can do together. Try something like, “Hey I’m going to X on Thursday, you should come along – it’ll be awesome ” It’s casual and she’s more likely to say yes.
Now that you’ve read my ideas, I’d love to see some of yours. What are some texting tips that have worked for you?